Tag: UIO: You Inside Out

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Cracking the Code: Rising Above Odds

Credit: monkeybusinessimages

The line-up for the new podcast series is looking great. We have some amazing guests coming up on various subjects, one of whom is Hannilee Fish, founder of Ikan Health, to talk with us about Rising Above Odds.  I can think of no one better to interview about the subject than Hannilee, who readily shares experiences of a difficult youth and how she overcame. The podcast is slated to air in early October.

In the meantime, I have been thinking about times in my life when it felt like the odds were stacked against me.  One that springs to mind goes well back to my teenage years, preparing for college, now known as university. A bright student, always in the top percentage of the class, though not the top 1% or anything like that, I could not crack standardised tests. There was something about them that left me numb. From the Psat to the SAT (scholastic aptitude test), I had scores that didn’t match with my grades at all. Not only were they lower than what would have been predicted for a student of my calibre, they weighed in highly for getting into a good school.

It seems that my smarts, personality and talent otherwise took a back seat to my lower than desired test scores. There went the idea of getting a higher education at a major university anyhow. After all, my peers were off to the big leagues. And for a girl who Aced her way through three grades of school and pretty much B’d her way through the rest, interestingly enough after integration, it was a hard pill to swallow. What were the odds that one of my dream schools would take me?

I would never find out, as I didn’t try given the peers who did get in had not only top notch grades but also really high test scores and no one encouraged me after the scores came out. Compared to my friends, I felt dumb, which took a toll on my self-esteem. But there was something inside of me that refused to give up.

So I enrolled in a Junior College, something I didn’t feel good admitting to years ago but when I look back now, I see that enrolling in any college was a game changer. From there, I went to Valdosta State University (VSU), where I received my BA in English/Journalism and later would achieve my MA in International journalism and here I am today, still not proud of my PSAT and SAT scores but how much do they matter in the big scheme of themes today?

Make no mistake about it, this is not suggesting a license to fob off tests but here is what I am saying. When the odds are stacked against you, there might be an opportunity hidden in the upset, the disappointment and so on and here is what worked for me.

  • A change of mindset – while I had my mind set on the University of Georgia or something like that, it would never be but as soon as I realised that what really mattered was a good education and how I decided to perceive what was good or not good, I met some wonder professors/lecturers and made lifelong friends and contacts. Proud to be a VSU blazer graduate, as proud as any Bulldog, Georgia Bulldog that is.
  • A willingness to abandon tradition, think outside of the box – Getting good grades that I could transfer worked in my favour. Maybe I didn’t go in through the front door, more like the side door, but I came out through the front, waving my mortarboard with my fellow graduates. That degree not only led to my MA but the opportunity to blaze new trails, like working at the Albany Herald, as its first female black reporter.
  • A bit of new knowledge – Still shying away from standardised tests, I decided to find out why? Was it me or was it something bigger than me? Turns out it was a bit of both. There are people who are better test takers than others but research on the tests offered at the time showed that they were not designed for me and students like me, though some from a similar background made the grades. The majority of us didn’t, however. Later I would write an article for The Guardian on this very thing and one word that I know all too well now, regatta, turned up on the test. Is it a boat race, a bike race or a special picnic in the park? I am sure these were not the choices but the point is, I didn’t have a clue and why would I. In Southwest Georgia, we didn’t have regattas and still don’t and at the time I hadn’t been exposed to literature and history about the famous boat races, for example, between Oxford and Cambridge.

You live and you learn and that is part of what you have to do to rise above odds, as well as believe in yourself and champion the situation to pave the way for others. See it for what it is—a hurdle that can be jumped over with the right mindset, some out of the box thinking and a bit of knowledge. That’s all!

 

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What’s New?

Though school is at last out for most on this side of the pond, it is about to resume for some on the other side. Regardless, you might do with a few tips on online well-being, whether it is to make sure you are doing exciting and interesting things to keep you brain ticking over the heated summer or it is to find a happy medium between your social life, school and family. Our latest podcast is a must listen to over and over again.

Podcasts are like that—keepers like good friends, full of tips, encouragement and so on. That’s why we are kicking off a new podcast season come September, delving into some hot topics and offering lots of need to know info, such as tips on Rising Above Odds.

Whether the odds are stacked against you in academics, athletics, or your social life, you can win. More on that next week as we talk a little bit more about that particular podcast. Also, on the schedule is the huge topic of Identity. Having a strong sense of identity is crucial to high self-esteem and entwined with values. Still, identity can be ever so confusing. Tell you something new, right?  Unfortunately, it is what it is but we can shed a huge spotlight on the illusive subject.

And that’s not all. We will also feature a podcast on Dating this term. Big topic, if I must say so myself. Stay tuned for more on the new series and also announcements of our upcoming guests, all very special ladies who know more than a thing or two about the subjects they’ll be talking to with us about.

Meanwhile, don’t forget that there is still time for you to get your questions in about the new topics or any topics for that matter. Write to me from the UIO podcast page, Send Me Your Questions and get your concerns aired. To listen subscribe via our RSS feed and stay tuned to UIO as we cover topics about you inside out.

 

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It’s Personal: To Share or Not to Share

Online Reputation Matters

Having friends online to share the good, the bad and the indifferent news has its pros and cons. The best part, if you ask me, is being connected to other people, having like-minded people to celebrate with or even to commiserate with during times of needs. Admittedly, however, I am not that comfortable with commiserating publicly, although it works a jewel for some people. I tend to send direct messages if for some reason I am unable to pick up the phone and call or see someone face-to-face. For me the going public with grief  somehow strips away the walls of privacy I need to come to terms with the matter.

Managing feelings when something sad or tragic happens is complicated unto itself without adding the worry of having an audience. I sort of freeze up if you will and can’t process what I am feeling in the first little while and have found it futile to try to express anything sensible to share on or off line.

A few years ago when my sister called me and told me my father had been rushed to a prestigious hospital in Atlanta with very little promise, I reverted to childhood—stopped eating, talking, walking, doing anything. Paul had to call the airline, book a ticket, pack my suitcase and coax me to get up and get ready to get on that flight.

And when my mother died, I didn’t make a public announcement and didn’t want public condolences and to be sure I didn’t get them, I said a quiet word to a friend or two and presto my wishes were respected. Honestly, I felt no judgements there nor have I dished them out on the flipside. For friends and family who are comfy with grieving publicly, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s a personal preference.

Still according to Nicola Morgan, guest on UIO: Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out, hearing sad stories repeatedly, which we do online, whether they are in the news, are our own, or in the newsfeeds of our friends, can drive us down a bit. As human beings, we naturally sympathise and empathise with each other and take on each other’s sorrows. I know I do. And when the going gets tough, my mood swings downward, which not only impacts me but also those around me. Ask Paul!

Taking a tip from Nicola, I try to manage my intake of sad news, which is not always possible if it is happening directly. In that case, like people whose job involves dealing with sad stories all the time, such as therapists, clinicians, people working in war zones, I might consider a talking therapy of some kind.

But where I can control how much sad news I take in, I make an effort, as I did in the days of old before the internet. Then it was the television and the newspapers. I switched off or didn’t read, as simple as that.  Of course, it made me a poor conversationalist at parties and so on but I was perhaps the happiest person there. Never mind being ignorant.

So whether you are happy to share sad news online or not or you tend to sponge it up, how to cope with it, manage it, applies to us all, young, old or in between. But as Nicola points out, sad news can have a bigger impact on the mood, emotional health of a more vulnerable person. And certainly when I was grieving the loss of my mom, I was in the vulnerable group and likely still am.

Anyhow, here are my top tips:

  • For every sad news story, read an uplifting one. And in the time of grief, remember the good times.
  • Offer private messages to friends and family when at all possible. There is something about a private moment that matters deeply. Recently I had the occasion to be there in person for some bereaved family friends that I grew up with and reconnecting offline did us all a world of good.
  • And if you do share your sad news stories, don’t spend oodles of time focusing on the negative, pluck out the positives where possible.
  • And finally, avoid checking to see who has responded and how many people have responded. It’s not a measure of how much people care. That’s personal.

But so is the preference for whether to mourn and grieve online or not. In any case, what matters most is that you protect your mental and emotional health. And that is truly personal. Take care!

 

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Making A Lifestyle Change

At the mention of the word diet, trying to lose weight springs to mind, not to mention depriving oneself of favourite, yummy foods. No wonder a stress quake rolls over the body causing both physical and psychological upset.

Honestly, however, it doesn’t have to be that way. Of course, people diet to lose weight rightly or wrongly, but people also adopt different diets to maintain their health. Some of them are necessary such as special renal diets for people with Chronic Kidney disease, for example.

But you don’t have to have a chronic condition to adopt a healthy diet. All you need to do is to change your lifestyle. This approach cuts out unhealthy dieting, jumping in and out of fads, and yo yo dieting, which takes a toll on the mind and the body.

Still, what does a lifestyle change really mean? In short, it doesn’t mean dieting, but rather adopting a diet that serves you. Sigh, right? When I was a teenager, I might have paused too at such advice. I was not that in to vegetables. And I avoided them like the plague. Being as thin as I was, I concluded that I was healthy enough and ate whatever I jolly well pleased when I was in control. Thankfully my mother was in control at least 80% of the time.

But when she wasn’t such as after cheerleader practice or on a field trip or during or after a game, I piled up on the fast food and so on. So what if an ice cream cone made my stomach hurt or a bag crisps (potato chips) spiked my sugar, putting me in a bad mood, not to mention some of the damage caused by fizzy drinks. But you couldn’t tell me I was not healthy because the thing about being unhealthy versus being ill is that the former has a way of creeping into the norms. You get used to it and only overtime does it become something more–illness.

So how do you snap out of it, adopt a healthy diet for you?

  • Choose foods that serve your body with or without a chronic condition and stick with them. That’s food that taste good and is good! Not everybody can eat everything. For example, I don’t do much diary nor do I do any gluten.  But even if you don’t have any allergies and intolerances, healthy eating is still important.
    • And have I got news for you, according to Judit Ressinka, guest of Episode 2: Your Body Inside Out, it is all about the ingredients, using real, whole food from the four food groups. For on the go, tasty pizzas and burgers just go for the real deal, real meat and whole food ingredients—organic if at all possible.
  • Focus on what you can eat, not as much on what you can’t eat. You’ll be pleasantly surprised. 
  • Learn to prepare and cook simple and easy meals so they are available after school and so on.
  • Choose wisely if fast food is the only option.
  • Drink plenty of water and get those veggies in and fruit, too. I see their benefits now.
  • And by all means, whatever you do, eat! Starvation has no place in a healthy lifestyle.

Adopting such an approach has made a huge difference in my life. Hardly ever will you find me dieting to lose weight. Admittedly, I have been there and done that and didn’t need to. But these days it is about getting the best possible fuel for my body most of the time.  And if I fall off the rails every now and then which inevitably I do, no need to search for a special diet. I already have one. I just need to revert to my chosen lifestyle.

So girls, about your diet…. What does it really mean? In short, a happier, healthier lifestyle now and in the future.

 

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It’s A Start: Finding A Happy Medium

Lots of talk about how we are all spending too much time on social media, our smart devices and so on. Without a doubt, this talk has credence, but Nicola Morgan, guest on our latest podcast: Episode 12: Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out turns the talk on its head.

The point that she makes is that if we spend enough time doing the things that serve us both mentally and physically—sleeping, reading, daydreaming, checking out culture near and far and so on—then we would have less time to squander on social media, on our phones. And we just might find a happy medium and enjoy our devices without a slew of negative consequences.

Let’s face it we are obsessed. Talking from experience, however, obsessions can be managed. For some time now I have been signing off an hour and a half before bedtime, early on it was two hours, and am not only reaping the benefit of getting more sleep, I am also learning to draw again. But before I reclaimed that winding down time, there was no time for drawing or for anything else for that matter.

So far, I’ve produced a drawing of my husband that actually resembles him just a little. Next up is a self-portrait.  My father-in-law would be so proud, having left me to inherit any and everything drawing.

Well before he died, he did a handsome watercolour of each of the two properties we owned during his lifetime.  Six years later, we have owned two more. Sounds like a challenge to me? We’ll see if I am up for it. In the meantime, it is quite satisfying pursuing an activity that I rather enjoy.

Admittedly, signing off well before going to bed has not been easy. I still haven’t switched off the phone completely and stashed it in another room. Bear with; I am working on it. I have reached ‘do not disturb’ and ‘silent mode’ and hidden it in a corner.

In the meantime, I thought I’d bring the idea of ‘spending more time doing what serves us individually and collectively’ home literally. So, on Independence Day after observing smart phones draped around the room and how hugely significant they have become in one family, I thought I’d intervene ever so sneakily.  So, when someone would pick hers up or his for that matter at a ping or sometimes just because, I would find a way of reengaging them, pointing out that they were distracted. Such questions were asked: Are you a part of this conversation? Are you in the game or out? We’re eating now! Can you look at your phone later?

Of course, I shared Nicola’s top tips about device and online management: 1) Switch off and put out of sight 1.5 hours before bedtime, 2) Put away at mealtimes, even a coffee with a friend, 3) Ban during a conversation.

It’s a hard sell, one of my grown-up nieces admitted. “I’ll start with thirty minutes and work up to the ninety,’ she said, as her 12-year-old stepson giggled in the back ground in disbelief.

As for me, I think she is on to something. You have to start somewhere. The key is to start! I am so glad I did. Watch this space for that self-portrait. You never know—might even get to the latest two properties. The key is to focus on doing things that serve you both mentally and physically and less on how to kick the habit of things that don’t. And before you know, you just might find a happy medium.

Check out Episode 12: Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out with Nicola Morgan and also what she had to say about participating in the podcast. It’s a start.

 

 

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Catching Z’s In The First Place

As a teenage girl, I never thought I got enough sleep, always dreading the early rise to get up to go to school. Growing up in small town USA, with a school in the centre of the County, I had to get up extra early to catch the bus and if that wasn’t enough to drag me out of bed, my aunt, who lived next door, was our school bus driver. So no room from catching just a few more z’s. My siblings and I were up and at em five days a week and on the seventh day, we were up equally as early to go to Sunday School.

Can’t remember why we had to rise early on the sixth day, probably because my parents rejected the notion lying in. What with work to do. Not a chance.

In those days, I felt badly done by and swore than when I reached adulthood, I would sleep all the time.  Fast forward all these years later and I am still feeling a bit sleep deprived, particularly right about now, having caught a long haul flight from London on Monday to the US. With a number of delays, I lost an entire day and haven’t been able to get it back and never will according to Judit Ressinka, our guest on Episode 2: Your Body Inside Out.

Sleep is not something you can catch up on, rather it is something that you manage as best as you can from day-to-day for a number of reasons. The key one, according to Nicola Morgan, guest on our most recent podcast: Episode 12: Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out, is that sleep informs our health. In short, the brain needs sleep to function.

Research shows that teenagers need more than perhaps some others of us as they continue to grow. No wonder I felt a bit dozy throughout my teen years but listen up teen girls, I have a confession to make: I played my part in that sleep deprivation, too.

Well before mobile devices and so on, we had landlines and I have spent a many of night, hunkered under my covers whispering to a girlfriend or a boyfriend when my mother and father thought I was asleep. Wouldn’t you know it, there was another device before mobile phones that could be misused to interrupt sleep.

However, had I known what I know today, perhaps I would have taken some responsibility for my own sleep needs. Though I can’t go back, I can share lessons learned.

  • Put the devices away 1.5 hours before going to bed as Nicola Morgan points out.
  • Leave worry out of the bed or you’ll be worrying and trying to work out the problems throughout the night, whether awake or asleep.
  • Go to sleep earlier if necessary, according to what time you have to get up.
  • Don’t blame it all on your everyone else– school, athletics, parents and so on.
  • And finally, just relax long before climbing into bed.

And remember it is not about catching up on sleep, it is about getting it right in the first place. Got it!

 

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Your Online Wellbeing

One of the things that I love about blogging in this space is the opportunity to look down memory lane and offer some insight based on my own experiences.  Not this week, since the topic of the hour was unheard of when I was a teenage girl, though most of us cannot imagine life without it. Yes, you guessed it—we’re talking our beloved electronic devices and connecting to the internet with them.

Big topic for teenage girls, right? Of course. it is, but according to Nicola Morgan, expert on the adolescent brain, the topic is as crucially important for adults as it is teenagers. In our special summer edition podcast, Episode 12: Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out, Nicola tells us why we are so captivated by our devices and what compels us to stay online all the time, okay most of the time.  Also, she offers more insight on the subject in her latest book, The Teenage Guide to Life Online.

Admittedly, I have been a big proponent of confiscating phones and devices from teens particularly before bedtime without reference to what using the phone and being online obsessively might be doing to my own sleep, my own concentration, my life.

A few months ago, however, my nutritionist suggested that I put the phone away at least 1.5 hours before going to bed and I upped the stakes to two hours and have been reaping benefits since, at least when I manage to comply. But here is the thing, the penny still didn’t drop that I have been practicing double standards, as have many adults, until my conversation with Nicola.

In short, Nicola suggests that adults practice what we preach and offers three top tips about device and online management: 1) Switch off and put out of sight 1.5 hours before bedtime, 2) Put away at mealtimes, even a coffee with a friend, 3) Ban during a conversations. Don’t even glance. Gulp!

Now is the time for my confession. Last summer when my niece Jana, my now 15, visited London, the smart phone was indeed a point of contention. It and it only could cause the type of disturbance that could ruin Jana’s holiday to my mind. So, when she was walking around London clutching it, I cajoled and prodded, ‘put the phone away and check out this and that and so on’.

And at dinner, no phones were allowed at the table, not Jana’s anyhow, and at night, the phone was removed from her presence, ensuring a good night’s sleep for all, well for me anyhow. At least one night, separation anxiety caused such an upheaval that, my darling niece was up rather early asking if she could have her phone back.

Meanwhile, I was ever so determined to save her from it while all the time obsessively checking my own messages late at night and justifying occasional use at the dinner table or during a conversation. Worse yet, I probably caused a few second-hand disruptions, using my phone when she and my nephew had put theirs away with a view to concentrate on London.

I think this is the biggie for many adults. After all, we have to check work messages, take a phone call, do important things, right. Wrong answer, says Nicola Morgan.

For the rest of the story, Listen to Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out on iTunes, Soundcloud, TuneIn,  Stitcher and other listening apps. Meanwhile, sounds like a much needed opportunity to bridge a gap between the generations.  Jana, I am waiting at the half way mark, phone well out of sight. See you on the bridge.

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Why Talk About Sex and Sexuality?

Since I launched UIO, I have talked to many folks about sex and sexuality. The most in-depth conversation was for Episode 8: On Sex and Sexuality with Rachel Gardner, founder of the Romance Academy, who like me advocates focusing on building relationships and learning more about yourself before making pre-mature decisions about sex.

A non-starter, right, considering all the nuances in the air, whether in music, film, at school or just in the community, seemingly sex has become the biggest part of everything.  Recently, someone said to me: all teenagers have sex.

No wonder in one of my latest conversations on the topic, a parent said that when her daughter turns 16, she plans to put her on birth control. She simply is not going to trust a 16-year-old.

What does trust have to do with it? I asked. Surely birth control isn’t the answer. What about talking, sooner rather than later, and then if birth control is in order, fair enough, along with protection against diseases. But what about a real conversation to put it all into perspective—the good, the bad, the indifferent.

With scepticism in her voice, she pretty much fobbed me off. That got me wondering why it is so difficult for parents and teens to have a real conversation about sex, the hottest topic on the planet.

When I was a teen, though I enjoyed talking to my parents about a lot of things, asking all sorts of questions about the world, I never broached the topic of sex and neither did they. Though it was there, you couldn’t ignore it, it was a taboo subject. Others around my age, whether from a liberal or conservative household, shared similar stories.

One acquaintance confided that her mother’s parting words to her when she moved out were: “Don’t get pregnant,” though they hadn’t talked about sex previously! Another said, though she was clearly having sex with a boyfriend before she left home, neither of her parents mouthed a word. How was she to take care of herself? She didn’t know what to think. Not to mention other nuances that she had to deal with at school and so on.

Similar stories have been confided about sexuality, too, whether the topic has either been ignored or squashed. End of story.Actually not. Not having real conversations with guardians about tough topics such as sex and sexuality is often the beginning of difficult times. There are many reasons why it is important to talk about such topics, including avoiding conflict, stumbling into harmful situations, suffering unnecessary consequences, building trust and so on. Okay, but whose responsibility is it to broach the heated subject?

Parents are the adults in the situation, in charge of the household, right. Surely, they ought to bring it up. Imagine rushing in from school, throwing off your backpack and pulling up at the dinner table to be eyeballed by one or both of your parents, followed by a wry smile and then the dreaded words: “We need to talk about sex and/or sexuality!”

I suspect I would have wished for the floor to swallow me up than to reveal my real feelings on the matter. But I do remember somehow understanding the lay of the land and as a teen my passionate views didn’t always comply. In such a scenario, my defences might have gone up, certain that the talk could only be one sided.

So, what about the option of bringing up the topic yourself?  Not a chance, right, particularly for someone who has a question of sexuality with fears of facing unaccepting guardians and wider family. In this instance, it might be the parent who wants the floor to swallow them up.

Though both scenarios are less than ideal, the key is that parents listen to their teens, their desires, their hopes, their fears, and visa versa that teens listen to their parents, their desires, their fears, their hope, both with respect to values and morals but without judgment.

It is a tall order but it eliminates rejection, which leads to isolation, depression even suicidal thoughts. Make no mistake about it, I am not advocating a green light for teens to do as you please, but I am proposing a green light that affords you to bring any and everything you have to someone who has your best interest at heart, talk about it.  In Episode 6: Your Mind Inside Out, psychotherapist Jane Goldberg talks about the importance of talking about all feelings, good and bad.

Also, talking openly and honestly educates and informs for better decision making. There is so much focus on the physical consequences of pre-mature sex, that little is said about the mental pitfalls, of which there are many. Check out Episode 8 for more on this.

Finally, talk helps growth and development, puts you in touch with values, who you really are, what drives you. Just remember conversation is a dialogue and a good exercise in listening. It requires a bit of patience, too, as does life. Still working on that one.

 

 

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Leading To Influence Positive Change

When I was a teenager, I thought leadership was exclusive–for class officers, students interested in position or people who had some kind of inherent leadership characteristics and the adults in our lives, teachers, principals and all. The rest of us didn’t have to think too much about leading unless we were given a specific role to take the lead on, be it in academics, arts or sports—captain of this or that, right.

Wrong! Now that I reflect, I can see how we all led, by example, even when we had no intention to do so.  And til this day, we all still do. Leadership is inclusive, like it or not.

According to leadership expert, John Maxwell: “The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.”

Of course, I am taking Mr Maxwell’s words at face value and out of the context of a corporate environment and why not. They ring true all the same. We all have an influence on someone or something at some point in our life. The leadership expert points out that, according to sociologists, even the most isolated individual will influence 10,000 other people during his or her lifetime!

So there you have it, you might as well be intentional about it and positive, too.

Case in point: As a teen girl, I never knew how much influence I had over my younger sister until I set a foot wrong.  It was like leading her down a dark path. Only after a hair-raising incident, which I dare not repeat here, did I realise that I was a bit of a role model for her.  That was heavy stuff and all I could think then was I didn’t want the influence but like it or not, I had it. Thus, it was responsibility time, not necessarily to become a goodie two shoes, but to remember my values, and stay true to them when faced with peer pressure, for example.

Fast forward forty years later (I know, I know), a cousin of a similar age to my younger sister confessed that she always looked up to me, that I had a huge influence over her. Thankfully, I was a quick learner and realised that I had the power to influence. Even today, I take this simple fact into consideration when faced with choices that are on the fence. And I get a lot of these.

I say this not to put pressure on you or to put you under a microscope but just to offer a gentle reminder that you don’t have to be grown-up and ensconced in a leadership role, whether as a politician, teacher, doctor, etc.. or a budding politician, athlete or academic to be a leader. All you have to do is to be you.

And you don’t need to be defined by your past, a lesson I’ve learned along the way, which was reiterated at the Rocking Ur Teens Conference back in March. On that note, check out the newly released podcast for more inspirational tips and advice to this end.

In the meantime, take the lead for positive change whether you are running for class office or just running for the bus. You never know who you are influencing.

 

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Wearing Hair Braids Well Throughout The Ages

Hairstyles come and go but one that always seems to be all the rage is braiding in various ways. From traditional African cornrow styles to ultra-modern twisting, braids have been a go to hairstyle throughout the ages, whether for style (Egyptians), status (Romans) or spiritual endeavours, such as was used by the Native Americans.

In some instances, nowadays braids have become quite practical, too. According to Joy Miller, co-owner of Junior Green Hair and Beauty and guest of UIO: Your Hair Inside Out, braids are a great style for playing sports and so on. You don’t have to worry about your hair… That’s my point. Anyhow, Joy points out that braids can give hair a needed break from endless styling, too.

Not that you don’t have to look after braids, you do but it is an altogether easier task. I should know I jumped on the band wagon for my trip to Sri Lanka recently. Having struck up a love affair with my hair goodness knows how long ago, it was an easy, yet stylish, way to look after it in a sweltering climate, where no one, including me would have a clue how to manage it.

Thankfully, braids, rather twists, were just what I needed. When the heat got too hot, I could tie them up and at night when it was a bit cooler, not much, I could let them down.

Though it took three hours and counting to get the style, it was worth it with all the curiosity raised amongst the locals. A conversation starter for sure with both men, who likened my hair to Bob Marley, and women but particularly young women and teenage girls wanting to know how to get the style.

While I didn’t have any fast answers for them, I thought I’d offer a few tips here from UIO: Your Hair Inside Out on this all the rage hairstyle:

  • While braiding can be great for the hair, avoid tight braiding and ponytails by all means. It breaks the hair. Been there, done that. Keep it lose.
  • Ignore stereotypes! Love, love, love Bob Marley but sadly braiding does not hitch me to the star. Sometimes it is easy to pigeon hole people by hairstyles. Other than perhaps our African heritage, not sure what else we have in common- maybe a big heart. Yeah!
  • Give your hair a break from braids from time to time. Pulling it too much in the same style can cause breakage, too.
  • Shampoo, even if it is dry shampoo, if braids are worn for a short period of time.
  • And do moisturise, key to managing any and every kind of hairstyle.

Oh yes, how to get the style. In some cultures, such as mine, people learn to braid when they are young. My sister did, even if she doesn’t braid professionally. Others check out YouTube videos to learn.  Thankfully, however, there are professionals out there such as the one who styled my hair. My best advice is to opt for the latter if you can for the best experience.

Speaking of: the best comment from friends and family and acquaintances I heard repeatedly—the style makes you look younger. No wonder braids have been all the rage throughout history. There is something youthful about them. But here is the thing teen girls, you are youthful, with or without braids. Keep wearing them well.