Tag: New Year

Blog/

Drawing on Unknown Character Strengths

Believe in Yourself

Here we are the last day of January 2020 and the year feels weighty and heavy in so many ways already, with huge challenges the world over from Australia to China and change in the UK and tragedy in the US and many other places.

When the chips are down, it is so easy to look down and stumble but thankfully we are spirited people, if you will.  At the worst of times, we often find the will to pull through, drawing on character strengths we didn’t even know we had.

Nearly three weeks ago, I found myself in such a time as this.  Let me tell you about it:

On a rainy Saturday, I flew to the US (Albany, GA) to surprise my father for his 85th birthday and a surprise party and set out to have a relatively normal time—cooking for him and so on. 

But calm turned into a sort of storm on Monday morning shortly after I exited the house to pick him up for a treatment he gets regularly.  Seconds after I tried to release the garage door from the keypad on the wall to no avail, my US phone ring and a happy baby sister was on the other end of the line, just checking in to chat as she drove to an offsite meeting (she is a teacher).  A great feeling washed over me to hear from her and also, I knew she would know what to do. Quickly she ascertained that the door not opening was a local problem because the twin door opened as normal. Still I had to spring the car and she had just the solution: to use the emergency cord and presto, the door went up and I reversed the car out.

Still on the phone with Chanta, I hopped out of the car, the engine running, and used my might and power, my right hand to pull down the ailing door. Unbeknownst to me, my hand was in the crease of one of the door panels as it folded to close and with all the power of a garage door it closed on three of my fingers and I yanked and saved two of them (though they got scrapped) but my middle finger did not escape. Trapped. 

My scream was loud and sudden and Chanta’s concern matched it, getting me off the line in an instant and calling 911 (same as 999).  In the next few minutes, I launched at least five prayers, asking for strength to lift the door with my left hand, followed by the act of trying to no avail. Alas, I prayed for the resolve to endure the situation.  And following this prayer, I too called 911.

For 20 minutes or perhaps more, I talked to the EMS operator, explaining there was no blood and yes there was some pain and a bit of a giddy feeling and then I had a practical moment where I talked out how to save myself and my finger in the event that I fainted. All I could think was that my head would  hit the asphalt and part of my finger would be left in the door. So, I dropped on my knees in my London best (Ultra Suede trousers and Jimmy Choo flats) and leaned my body against the door.  I sort of remember explaining this, but as I was likely delirious, who knows.

I do remember being asked if I was having trouble breathing, as I was intentionally taking deep breaths to avoid a panic attack. In my state of shock, all I could think was stay calm, there is nothing you can do but stay here until help comes, so with all the adrenalin my body could muster up, that’s what I did as the EMS operator assured me that firemen and paramedics were on the way. 

As they closed in, I heard the sirens and imagined them trying to drive the fire truck around the house. I told the operator to tell them that they had to leave the truck, the driveway was too narrow and suddenly three beautiful men (looked like angels) burst on the scene bearing at least one crow bar but in the end, it was the brain that came through when one of them used the garage opener in my dad’s car to release the twin door and then release the one I was trapped in and as it went up panel after panel, I had a weak moment.

“It is not going to let my finger go,” I cried out meekly and just as I said “It is not opening” it did and out my finger came, the tip really white and as flat as a spoon.

No, we did not photograph it and no I am not making it up, though I have written fiction.  Dizzily I ambled over to the car, ushered by one of the firemen, who looked as relieved as I did. I remember accounts of saved fingers and fears of surgery and then more sirens and the paramedics and my sisters rushing to the scene.  More angels!

Then came the flood of tears and an awkward hug bestowed upon one of my sisters; maybe I was checking that I was really alive. But still I was relatively calm, now feeling more embarrassed than anything. I rambled about how stupid I felt even though the paramedics and the firemen reminded me it was an accident and that actually I was far from stupid, having come out with my finger.

It was not until I was in the ambulance, on the stretcher, with an IV in my arm, feeling faint, that I grasped the danger of the situation. As my blood pressure bottomed out twice, the ambulance tore down the street, screaming towards the hospital. Then all the frightened (internal) troops begin to march in, heckling me. Thankfully, the brave, patient ones had held them off when it was most necessary and again proceeded to push them away.

To cut to the chase, after a bit of bureaucracy I was in and out of emergency in three hours or less with a very bruised and contused finger—no broken bones, no deformities, no long-term implications—just a slow and painful healing process that has slowed me down immensely (my finger feels like a hard shell at best and nerve pains fire off when least expected).  The good news is that I learned about lots of character strengths that I didn’t even know I had.

While I would not repeat the situation for all the Jimmy Choo’s in London and that is a lot of shoes, I am feeling blessed to have incurred limited physical damage and to have come through ahead of the game emotionally and mentally, too.  Yas!

So, though the year has started out heavy, it’s good to know that what’s inside is often enough to pull through but it also contains the stuff you are really made of. Unbelievable.

Oh, and yes, a special thanks to the 911 operator for comforting me, the three firemen who sprung me and the wonderful two paramedics who took care of me and rushed me to the hospital.  Amazing! Not one time did they consider it a small matter. The world is better for their likes. Blessed!

 

Blog/

Exciting Beginnings: Embracing Yourself for a Happy New Year

This morning while waiting for a prescription I overheard an elderly woman ask with reticence, “Is it really 2020?” The middle aged female pharmacist smiled and nodded and touched the lady’s hand lightly, as she signed whatever was before her.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself, having had similar thoughts now for the last nine days. Is it really  a New Year. Where has the year gone? What does it all mean?

Lots to think about, yeah? And sometimes the thoughts can get crushed or twisted amid the the hype and celebration,  which almost always focuses on resolving to do something or other.

Admittedly, I have never been big on the hype and pressure around making New Year’s resolutions, not because I am a kill joy contrary to some belief, but because I tend to be more of a realist than an idealist.

Instead of focusing on kicking all the bad habits that I have acquired over the year or resolving to fix something in a few weeks that has taken far more time to break, I tend to enjoy  the flavour of the New Year, rather than to get bogged down in the pressures of it.

I have always thought there was something exciting about a new beginning, something which encapsulates the tenderness of youth, something which holds promise and therefore, refreshes and invigorates the spirit. And New Years and Birthdays both have such characteristics.

And though I have spent every single day of this year thus far with a horrible head cold,  I am somehow feeling refreshed and ready for the excitement ahead, not only for what it means for UIO podcast, but also what the new beginning means for teenage girls.

Last year, we added six new podcasts and interviewed some amazing women on the key issues including empowering girls and we are looking forward to getting out even more stimulating, timely and relevant podcasts this year. Also, I watched stories come in from near and far about girl power, how many of you are excelling in sports, academics and activism and so many of you laid the foundations in 2019 to take on new challenges and influence change for years to come. And that is just the beginning.

Just think what you will have accomplished by the end of the year. I am thinking about what is ahead for UIO, too, but let us not  think too long and hard: let’s keep it moving.  Otherwise, we’ll  be asking ourselves the very question I started this blog off with: Where has the year gone?

Thankfully, it’s only just begun. Forget about those fleeing and self-defeating resolutions. Embrace yourself and have a Happy New Year. For more inspirational advice, check out On Girls’ Rights with Lindsey Turnbull.

Blog/

Reflecting and Projecting Because I Can

Off to a slow start this year? Me too. When my alarm sounded at seven this morning, I thought it was a mistake, surely. Only when I realised that Paul had been up for a while yet was I convinced that someone had not played a first Monday in January practical joke on me.

Even so, I kept my space, feeling comatose for another thirty minutes, okay nearly an hour, contemplating what to do next—roll over and go back to sleep, pray and meditate on life in general or get up and go for a run. In the end, I settled for a combination of the latter two and thank goodness I did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting at my desk, beavering away.

For a while now my mantra of sorts, which has kept me moving, is to just do it, whatever it is because I can. Sadly, there are people who want to run, to walk, to write, etc., who can’t.

With that said, already, I have done some serious reflecting on 2015. More went wrong and less went right. Never mind that I didn’t promote my books at all, didn’t even begin the Jana Project, working title for an effort to help girls ages 8 to 12 stay in tip-top shape in their in between years and enjoy doing so, and that I dropped more blogs on my website than I care to admit, I am going to focus on what went right. I delivered more on the Huff Post than I dropped, and also, I introduce the game: What City Is This, even if it did fizzle out after a hyped couple of days.

Not bad, not really. Okay, it wasn’t my best performance. But that’s all behind me now, doors closed. In front of me, however, are alluring doors that mostly have not been opened. Even though some are slightly ajar.

It is up to me to make some projections of sorts, starting today, and then walk or run through those attractive doors, even if I move a bit slowly like I did this morning. Then, a young woman, sauntering took a short cut apparently and came out just before me at the main road/path. So ashamed, I had no choice but to dig deep and shoot past her.

There, though several runners, some of them pros of sorts, others novices, left me behind, I felt better for making an effort because I could. That’s it: off now to make some more projections and get on with delivering them, all because I can.

Such fun anticipating a can do year and wishing you one, too. Happy New Year!

 

Blog/

Keeping It Light in the New Year

Imagine hoisting a rucksack over your shoulder and walking into the New Year with it, only it. Is it too heavy, too light or just right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it’s a few days late for such advice, but bear with, if you will.

Now sit at your favourite table, desk or on the floor in front of the fireplace, wherever you are most comfy and cosy, and sort through the items.

Umm, how did this get there and what about that? You don’t need them anymore, do you? In fact, you probably thought you got rid of this and that a long time ago. I know the feeling but we needn’t worry. It is never too late to dispense of the unwanted tangibles and intangibles, too. The latter often weigh more than the former.

I should know as a few years ago I had one frozen shoulder after another. Medically, it was chalked up to carrying too much physical weight but psychologically, I was likely carrying too much emotional weight, too.

Thus I am pleased to say that I left excess emotional baggage in 2014, even if I do have to remind myself now and again, and some physical weight too. On that note, just before Christmas I had a clearing of some coats, more needed by others than me, and some clothing and some shoes. And truly felt lighter for it.

So, let me see what is left in this rucksack that I really need.

 

  1. Wonderful, I see my Nike Fuel Band is here, despite the best advice from the Sunday Times Style magazine. So yesterday, they say. Never! For me, it is still very much today.
  1. Thank Goodness, my Cloud Nine hair straightener (curling iron) is here. Not that my cosmetologist approves of us amateurs brandishing any straighteners, but let’s face it, it is better to have one with heat controls than one without. Not having one is not an option, at least not for me.
  1. I am thrilled to see my Mac liquid eyeliner. I happened upon this jewel while getting my make-up done professionally last year and I’m hanging onto it for a while yet. The size of a big crayon, even a novice could handle it. Go figure!
  1. Oh no, my Stella McCartney round shaped blue sunglasses are not here. Okay, so they are truly yesterday, not because of style, but because of wonkiness. Happily, however, in the January sales I found similar ones from The Row. Long may the look last.
  1. So glad to see my Ipad 3 here, even if it is a bit on the heavy side. I still feel lighter for it.
  1. Thankfully, there is my Anya Hindmarch satchel. No wonder the rucksack was a bit heavy. But who needs a rucksack when they have this bag.

There, that’s about all the tangibles that I really need, save for a few odd bits here and there, but surely they’ll fit into the bag, too. As for the intangibles, that I am keeping, that is, they are fairly light, too. In other words they are wonderfully bright.

Oh, and Paul has reminded me that I brought him, too. After all, someone has to help me keep it light. Anyhow, my satchel feels just right now. Off to living well I go.

So, just what did you bring into the New Year, that is, that’s just right for you?

 

 

Blog/

Eight New Years Renewal Tips

Whether you are twenty something, fifty something or an age somewhere in between, your goals and aspirations are likely wide-awake about now, maybe even keeping you awake at night. Not surprisingly, another New Year is on the horizon.

Hence the hype around New Year’s resolutions: everybody should make some to ensure a good start to 2015, right? Not to mention all the things that should happen on New Year’s Day, including special foods to eat, etc. Wrong, I don’t buy into any of it, not really. But I do believe a New Year is a wonderful opportunity to refresh one’s life.

And in doing so, it doesn’t hurt to have a few pointers, not only handy around this time of year, but also any time the sense to renew presides. Here we go:

 

 

  • Don’t get caught up into what you should do. Each person is different when it comes to dealing with love, loss and life. There are great tips and practices for getting over a break-up, for example, and for losing weight, too. But there is no one size fits all formula. The key is to move on in the way that is best for you.
  • Stay in the moment. This means letting go of past hurts and pains. For example, if not having children causes upset, focus on what you do have. Otherwise, you’re trapped in the past.
  • Govern your thoughts. You will need to do so consistently, certainly, to enjoy a positive present. For example, if you’re holding a grudge, let it go. Otherwise, you become a victim or a prisoner. Both ways of being are irresponsible. Go ahead take responsibility.
  • Understand the difference between experiencing emotionality and feelings. According to some experts emotions are toxic. Here! Here! They are simply repressed feelings that have not been expressed. So the next time that you respond ever so emotionally to something, anything, recognise that there might be more than meets the eye. Experiencing true feelings, on the other hand, is safe to do so. You are able to express differences without a dark cloud hanging over the matter.
  • Re-learn to love yourself. Sounds easy but not necessarily so. Loving one’s self means taking gentle care, both physically and mentally. Often this means saying no to unhealthy relations, foods, etc. For example, if you feel unimportant a bit too often, rely on the love within. And once you tap into it, you will have a better chance at loving others healthily, too.
  • Give! This doesn’t necessarily mean writing out a check to a charity of your choice or anyone else for that matter. Not everyone can but most of us can give a smile, kind words, a helping hand or even a good attitude to family, friends, work colleagues, etc.
  • And learn to receive, too. Giving people are often the worst receivers and without knowing can make their givers feel rejected. Receiving is as much about acceptance as it is anything else. So this year when a friend or family member compliments you or gives you something, accept it, and accept them.
  • And lastly, be patient yet persistent. Once you begin to feel re-energised in different aspects of your life, remember that it takes practice to form patterns, ways of being. Take it one day at a time, even moment by moment, which is all any of us have anyhow.

Refreshing realistic, yeah! All there is to do now is to just do it – one experience at a time! Happy New Year to all!

 

 

On Lifestyle/

Expat Writer gets Motivated for 2014

Nothing like the eve of a New Year to get us thinking about what’s ahead. Though I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, I do find beginnings quite motivational.

Anyone who’s ever started a new job, a new relationship, a new hobby, etc. can relate. It’s an opportunity to start afresh and perhaps believe in the ability to achieve that life long dream or just do something that needs to be done.

In any case, instead of writing about New Year’s resolutions, I thought I’d have a look at motivators for the New Year. Certainly in this inclement weather in London, those of us here could use some motivation.

As the sky bursts into tears of madness followed by roaring thunder, it is tempting to curl up in bed and pull the covers over one’s head.  But in a world full of conscientious objectors opposed to listlessness, fat chance!

All around are gadgets, devices, classes, even books that tell us to just do it! No wonder I feel inspired. Thus, as we head for 2014, I’ve shortlisted four ways to get motivated.

1) Topping my list, of course, is the Nike Fuel Band. It so happens that I got one for Christmas and have been wearing it since, figuratively. I do take it off for sleeping and showering, though some people leave it on. It’s apparently waterproof. I’ll find out soon enough when I take it out for a run in London.

In the meantime, however, let me tell you how it works. First, you charge it quite easily as it has a USB port that plugs right into your computer, set it up, (providing personal information including weight and age), set a daily goal, and sync it with your phone. It has an app for the IPhone. Then just wear it!

The fuel band clocks your movement, registering your energy burned in Nike fuel, as well as steps and calories. You will never feel good about being a couch potato again. Never!

So far, I’ve dragged out the Wii, skipped roped nightly, ran around the house and taken stairs instead of lifts on a few occasions to meet my goal. Looks like I’m on my way to gym soon.

2) But first let me tell you about the next on the list– the Run Keeper running app. There are many good running apps out there; Run Keeper just happens to be the one that got my attention. The motivating factor here is twofold – a personal champion while I am running and the data that it registers.

With this app tracking my moves, I don’t miss goals. In fact, I surpass them more often than not.

3) For those who have no interest in sports and little understanding of technology, taking a class is a sure way to get you moving in whatever it is that you want to do.

I’ve been known to take writing workshops, running lessons and chocolate making classes. The benefits here are mixing with people and occasionally competing with them. Nothing like competition for incentive, which is one of the reasons the apps mentioned above both encourage subscribers to participate in the relevant community.

4) Still, there are a few luddites who prefer to be alone. Books are tried and tested motivators for this bunch. Occasionally, I settle down with a good how to book, even if it is on the Kindle, and before long find myself ready to make a move—to juggle, to play chess, to meditate and so on.

This holiday season, I bought my dad a book relevant to something he needs to learn about and need I say more but I will. He now knows more than the rest of us all put together.

Inspiring. Now to go to the gym to rack up some fuel points all I have to do is get past the rain, the dreary feeling inside. Actually all I have to do is look at my fuel band. So I have. And I’m off now to just do it.